THE ONLY REVIEW THAT MATTERS: TRANSFORMERS - REVENGE OF THE FALLEN

I have two words for you in regards to this motion picture.
Unfortunatly I'm only at liberty to type the second word as the first word is the strongest explicitive in the english language.
AWESOME
"Where I'm coming from": I grew up watching Transformers and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I loved the first TMNT movies, really like the 2nd, could only stand 5 minutes of the 3rd and adored the CGI movie that was released in 2007. When I heard that they were going to make a live-action movies based on the Transformers, I have to admit, I was pretty skeptical. I mean, this is a cartoon whose sole purpose was to sell toys. Amist all this, I thought my oldest son, 2 or 3 at the time, would like a break from Barney, Baby Einstein, and Elmo and the gang. So I aquired the first volume of the original-OG-G1 Transformers. I'd sit and watch them with him from time to time, offended at the quality of animation and impressed that, for all intents and purposes, there were battles between good and evil, a character (in Optimus Prime) who is a better role model for my kids than pretty much anyone in popular culture (not that I want my kids to look there in the first place, in fact if they ever do, I can consider myself a failure as a parent) and a persistant story. All this from a kids TV show, whose only real purpose was to make my Mom and Dad's wallets lighter.

"My take": I must admit, coming out of the first movie I was a little underwhelmed. Repeat viewings redeemed it for me, but I just couldn't help but want more. Being a type of "origin" movie, I can understand the need for showing the transformers the amount they did, to introduce a little mystery (not that there was much of a payoff there). After seeing the Revenge of the Fallen (ROTF), I can understand it all as a big picture. This movie is a much different movie than the first, out of organic neccesity. They don't have to slowly try and introduce us to the transformers because we met them in the first movie. From the very beginning the action is on and only lets up a little in the middle. There are some funny parts but also some very cliche aspects that I feel took away from the movie. First, I know that the transformers learn about humans through the internet, tv and whatnot, but c'mon, the Twins? I guess they weren't that bad, but for once, can we have epic action movies not try to appeal to the 11-13 year olds who might find these characters interesting? Or the captured decepticon who defects to the autobots and is so enamored with Megan Fox's character that he feels the need to play "man's best friend" and hump her leg? Yeah, yeah, I did laugh, but c'mon, that stuff is not needed in a transformers movie. Honestly, I'm surprised they didn't try that with Ravage instead. The girl "stalking" Sam was a little weird. I dunno, I really thing it could have been handled a different way, but like I said, capture the 11-13 age group.

There are little nit-picks here and there, but seriously... man, this movie was fun to watch. The first third of the movie - up to the end of the forest brawl (google those two word, it will show up) - was epic. If Optimus wasn't an established hero at the end of the first movie, his first scene in this one cements that into you brain. Not only is he the Autobot, he lays down like no other, and talks trash while he's doing it. The forest brawl should (if there's any justice in this world) be talked about for years to come, copied for decades, and never coming close. The best rollercoaster ride in any movie. Period. In fact, the only complaint I can tell you about this movie, is that there isn't enough Optimus Prime.

Thanksfully, we got a lot of transformers to look at and watch them beat the crap out of each other. We see the relationship Sam and Bumblebee have developed and, honestly, you can care about it. Which, in my book, is pretty impressive as B can't properly talk. They did a fine job with it, and plus B grabbed both twins and smashed them together when they started brawling with each other. HE DID WHAT WE ALL WANTED TO DO. The story is pretty basic, and while the ending is one long action sequence, the visuals were spectacular and sustaining.

Another thing I liked was the portrayal of the armed forces. They weren't portrayed as baby killing sociopaths, nor as the guys who balk at helping the protagonists. Sure there was that one guy, but he pulled the blue string so whatever. The armed forces were portrayed realistically, as with the first movie, and I can respect that. You hear that James Camereon? You suck for that reason alone.

Most people may be lost coming from the first movie and seeing the secong, the "Fallen" who is that? First off, he's known as "The Fallen", the black sheep, so to speak, but bent on the termination of humankind. There are some comics they put out the flesh out his character as well as how the Cybertonian war started (search for Transformers Revenge of the Fallen Movie Prequel Defiance), how Megatron and Optimus took sides, and the like.

Bottom Line: Go see this movie. Period. Unless you like to nitpick and complain about movies. If you like to do that you probably hate most every movie made after the 50's. This is not an intelectual, oscar winning (but really who give a crap about the oscars anymore), shakepear-ieneske masterpiece. This was a balls-out, action packed, robot on robot action, at times heart-felt (Bumblebe-fearing failure towards the end), summer blockbuster worth the 12 bucks I paid to watch it in an IMAX theatre. I didn't even open the Mike & Ikes and Sour-Patch-Kids I smuggled into the cineplex. It was that good. Take the day off, say you are sick and go watch this movie. You will thanks me for it later.

20 stars out of 5.

THAT'S RIGHT.